Coup Caucus

Joe Zarelli (center), with Seantors Janea Homlquist-Newbry and Tim Sheldon, plotting a menacing all-cuts-and-then-some budget.

We’ve been raising alarms about Senator Zarelli’s perverse predilections for more than a year (spoiler alert: he’s a werewolf). Much as it pains us to admit it, however, the Seattle Times outdid us by far. (Maybe the Times stashed a crystal ball inside the P-I globe ?)

Check it out below: on March 3, 1934, the Times was¬†seriously¬†ahead of the curve, reporting on Senator Zarelli’s assault on the backwards Senate Democrats more than 75 years before it happened, under the appropriate headline: “Prowling, hairy sasquatch again scares primitive tribe”. The only thing they got wrong was the location, for some reason displacing the recent events in the State Capitol to Harrison Mills, B.C.

(As a bonus, the article does it all from a racist perspective on indigenous Others which sounds all too familiar to anyone who has witnessed a legislative debate about casinos, fishing, or water rights.)

The article captures all the key dynamics of the Legislature today: a prowling vicious predator who is always “hairy and malicious”; a befuddled population of victims who can’t quite identify what force it is which is going to “devour babies and play cruel tricks”; supercilious observers who are sure that they know best and the whole thing is just silly; and a public presumably not too reassured by the reassurance that this is all just primitivism.

Because “primitivism”, we’ve come to learn, is what Olympia is all about right now.

Full article is below, thanks to ClassifiedHumanity.com

growling Hairy Sasquatch