Pam Roach has long been rumored to be an uncredited 4th author of this important work.When Pam Roach, the most powerful woman in the Senate, took to the airwaves to defend herself against claims that she is an abusive employer, an impossible colleague, a lover of fine flowers, and a little quick on the trigger to boot, her press conference was of course described as “rambling.”

Click here to watch Undead Olympia’s video summary of this already-legendary declaration of principle. (Roach’s key principle, evoked repeatedly: “I like me.”)

Only people outside the mainstream are ever described as “rambling”. Even the longest & most meandering pontification by Bill Clinton could not warrant the adjective, but the sharpest declaration of principles by Hugo Chavez would likely begin to “ramble” by the time it made the pages of an American newspaper.

So, did Pam Roach ramble? The reality is that for her, she was sharp and clear in her hour-long session — despite struggling with hunger than whole way through (she only stopped because she had to eat), having to somehow compress her myriad accomplishments into such a small time, and deeming it appropriate to attend the press conference armed only with photos of good work rather than her usual rifle.

For those of you too judgmental to listen through the whole thing, here’s a capsule summary of the nuanced argument she made

  • She is a good person.
  • She likes herself.
  • She does good things.
  • She has been to 45 countries, including Romania and Zambia
  • She has a clinic named after her in Honduras
  • At least one member of her staff allegedly likes her, as does at least one person from Zambia.
  • She has fulfilled her responsibilities here on earth.
  • She inarguably does more than anyone else in the Senate.
  • The Republican Caucus is out to get her, either because one former leader was gay, because she ran against another, because she is so accomplished, because she is an expert on campaigns, or all of the above.

She also warned clearly: the attacks on her not-so-good name amount to “inviting hell to your doorstep.”

Call it what you will, but that’s at least as cogent as any floor speech Don Benton has ever made, and tighter than several of Governor Inslee’s answers during one of the early debates.

Still think it’s rambling? Check out our video summary and judge for yourself if she’s a coo-coo-racha.