A spectre is haunting Olympia...
Author Archive
Avoiding a stick-y situation

Avoiding a stick-y situation

When 2,000 people threaten to show up, armed, inside and outside the state capitol, you know it’s either a join family reunion sponsored by the Senate Republic Caucus, or a rally by 2nd Amendment Fundamentalists. (Or both.) Gun lovers called a rally at the Capitol in early February because despite jointly carrying enough armaments that... Read more...
Senator Tom Riddle

Senator Tom Riddle

"I knew I was different, I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something." — Tom Riddle “the Legislature has expanded the definition of ‘vulnerable’ a bit wide.” — Rodney Tom Read more...
A cut and dry-cleaning issue

A cut and dry-cleaning issue

Yes, Representative Pedersen bought a $383 painting of the Montlake Bridge for his office and billed us for it. And of course Senator Tom needed to charge his $164 Bose headphones back to the state. And sure, Representative Alexander had to spend a few hundred public dollars on dry-cleaning bills. It's a metric-based incentive system,... Read more...
What, Jay Worry?

What, Jay Worry?

Apparently, Washington has lurched from an inhumane Governor to an inhumanly optimistic one. Our dearly departed vampire Governor enjoyed lurching from one tortured angsty brutal cut to the next, always declaring her deep unhappiness with her lot in life. But we don’t think the new creature in the Governor’s mansion is going to be claiming... Read more...
They call her the rambler

They call her the rambler

So, did Pam Roach ramble? The reality is that for her, she was sharp and clear in her hour-long session — despite struggling with hunger than whole way through (she only stopped because she had to eat), having to somehow compress her myriad accomplishments into such a small time, and deeming it appropriate to attend... Read more...
Move over bacon...

Move over bacon…

Today, our vampire Governor returns to the land from which she came, replaced by a leader whose shape remains indistinct despite his offering many months of biographical drivel that amounted to a LinkedIn profile — a list of all the jobs he did (especially masculine ones involving lifting things and/or breaking them and/or throwing them), the... Read more...
Rodney Tom, Hobgoblin of Medina, Party of one

Rodney Tom, Hobgoblin of Medina, Party of one

We have of course been tracking Rodney Tom for years now, but much like his style of dress, his demeanor, his income, and his politics, his hygiene habits are so anal-retentively Medina male that it’s been difficult to sniff out exactly what kind of beast he be. Some days he displays the vicious brutality of... Read more...
Olympia's insatiable thirst, version 2013.1

Olympia’s insatiable thirst, version 2013.1

For two years, we sunk our claws into Gregoire, Zarelli, Benton, and Murray. Two are now gone, one is on his way out, and one fell just a couple hundred humans short of an early departure. Who will bear our wrath this year? It's as McCleary as mud. Stay tuned. Read more...
What's so bad about the dark of night?

What’s so bad about the dark of night?

The dark of night is our favorite time, and suggesting that something is bad just because it happened when the lights are out is nothing more than a projection of internalized nocaturnalaphobia onto the political field. Read more...
A prowling, hairy sasquatch, just like the Times predicted

A prowling, hairy sasquatch, just like the Times predicted

Back in 1934, the Seattle Times was seriously ahead of the curve, reporting on Senator Zarelli's assault on the backwards Senate Democrats more than 75 years before it happened, under the appropriate headline: "Prowling, hairy sasquatch again scares primitive tribe". Read more...
When satire died last night. (It's ok, it will rise again.)

When satire died last night. (It’s ok, it will rise again.)

Though it's not entirely clear why any self-respecting anti-government legislator would want the government's dirty money getting in their wholesome fairs, the coup caucus rose passionately to defend a budget that prioritized county fair prizes over poor children. Read more...
You got to have faith…in budget cuts

You got to have faith…in budget cuts

State Legislators have been saying for years that they’re “up all night” fretting over the budget. Last night, they finally put in the time to make that ring true, with a debate that lasted until 2 in the morning. It all started when Senator Ed Murray released a budget proposal which cut… hardly anything. Even... Read more...